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Saturday, May 9, 2009

The End is Near

Today Erik and I employed a babysitter so we could enjoy some much needed time alone together. "And what did you do?", you may ask. Well, we did what any couple in need of romance would do, we took a First Aid/CPR class and side-by-side practiced mouth to mouth on dummies. This magical morning concludes our training to be fost/adopt parents. *big sigh of relief*

As part of this process, we were asked to make several fun modifications to our home so as to make it safe for children. With as many hidden dangers as we apparently have been living with, I'm more than a bit surprised that Jake, Dan and Libby have made it this far. Some of my favorite modifications are as follows:

10. Screens on windows to ensure there are no flies in the home.
9. Get beds for new children. OK, that makes sense...
8. Strap TV to wall so tyrading toddler doesn't end up beneath it. Wow.
7. Lock up children's toothpaste, deodorant and other highly dangerous chemicals using fancy-shmancy magnet locks that cost a fortune.
6. Unbunk boys' beds.
5. Plugs in all outlets.
4. Ensure hot water temperature is above 110 but below 120.
3. Ensure that we always have at least 3 days worth of food on hand. Does Easy Mac and frozen pig count...?
2. Buy a new kitchen trash can.
1. Place decals on sliding glass doors to prevent kids mistakenly running into glass. I think the fingerprints should count as decals...


So I can't believe it! We're near the end and should be certified (or certifiable) by mid-June. Wait a minute, in a month I could be Mom to 5 children under the age of 5...I might need another class...or a therapist...

5 comments:

CD said...

Have you considered shock therapy?? Maybe a few more diet cokes would do the trick.

Anonymous said...

Yay!

At least you won't be having any death by flies in your house...

EmilyAnn said...

I can't believe I lived under your roof all that time! To think of the danger I was in!! I feel so lucky to be aliiiive.

Mama Jenny said...

Being a mom to 5 under 5 is not as bad as it sounds!!! :)

al said...

How do you prevent the kids from eating the decals that prevent them from running into the glass? The dangers are endless!!

Glad you are certified!